After-thoughts from Dad...
Dear pac-blog trackers ~~~
~~~~~~~~~~~~It is appropriate that I offer some end of voyage comments of gratitude and appreciation, as well as, apologies for all the worries and concerns many of you were dealing with during this passage of myself and two sons Darshaun and Luke~. Thank you for your prayers and for holding us in the positive healing currents of love and protection~. Our crossing the Pacific Ocean was a slippery sliding adventure across the fluid skin of Mother ocean ~ what an incredible journey for each of us in our own unique way and certainly this will be much more articulated once the skeletal notes in my journal are unpacked~. Darshaun was able to write his perceptions and report via the blog as we traveled - Luke and I journaled by pen~. The voyage stands as a passage, an initiation into a deeper work for each of us ---- Luke at 21 years, Darshaun at 34 and me quickly cruising through 62 ---- four and a half years out of cancer moving into over-time play in the passage through life's learning curriculum into the Mystery of awakening~. Each of us at a different phase of life and truly being absorbed into an initiatory process to help bring us to new understanding~. Certainly, for me aging, healing and consciously deepening my spiritual journey, as well as, strengthening my resolve for walking the path that has been lighted~.
~ For me the voyage was one of incredible joy, even in the midst of nausea and physical challenges. The joy of being with and observing the absolute beauty and innocence of two of my children, as well as, their gift of honoring and including 'ol Dad, or "Faja" as Luke often calls me~made every moment worthwhile. All three of us noted many many times the absence of Justin on this gnarly passage ~~ of course he is still very much in the throes of concluding his own personal rite of passage and initiation work - next time Justy... Also, the realization that we are all in the perfect place albeit perhaps all illusion. Certainly, attendant thoughts of my daughters Taj & Noelle --- seven grandchildren and one great child were woven in both the emotional and at times reflective tapestry of family, community and inner woven circle of friends -- all of us connected as one~.
~ Yep, I was sick as a sea dog for all 30 days of sailing from Shimoda, Japan to Kaua'i, Hawaii but the lessons learned during cancer (practicing dis-identifying with the physical body) prevailed and my spirits were continually high; my inner process seriously connected to the deeper spirit that holds us all~. For me the metaphor of the ocean being the unconscious substrate from which we are mostly driven and the tiny boat upon which we float as what we perceive as reality~was a constant backdrop for our adventure. I was emptied out - literally and fully (I pray) purging and puking (3-P's) daily as I reviewed my entire life under the light of forgiveness~. This voyage with my sons was a serious blessing in many ways and from the standpoint of a parent I'd like to offer a glimpse of the valuable insights I experienced: Being with them for approximately a two month period of time afforded me many observations and reflections about my own life - certainly, seeing myself at 21 (Luke) and 34 (Darshaun) offer several stark contrasts about life's progression of stages, interests, perspectives and perception~. I am still having realizations and insights as I continue to unpack this amazing journey~. One of my insights around perception that I will share is that I realized that as a protective parent I did not always allow or validate their perception about the experiences they were holding and I erred often by correction rather then allowing them to see their own lessons in the light of their perspective~. So, now some of that is coming back to haunt me while at the same time allowing me insight and improvement now~. This is where the practice of forgiveness comes into play as it truly is the key to releasing guilt and finding happiness and freedom in the present~.
~ Another great relief (freedom) I experienced was in the deeper realization that we are all students and teachers for each other~. So much of the attitudinal healing work coming to light. Darshaun's technical skill vastly surpass mine and Luke's strengths and personal qualities offer much for me to learn from~. In the letting go of my roll as a parent and presuming I ALWAYS know what is best, there is freedom to be found in the joining with them as life adventurers and as spirits sharing experiences and exploring i.e. giving and receiving are the same among equals~. So, this is but a piece of the insight I received as I crossed into new waters both on the surface reality and the below the surface, as what has been unconscious in the inner realm has now surfaced~. We neither saw nor heard any Sirens but certainly my ego was dashed upon the rocks along the way. With the constant lurching, banging and thrashing around, change was always present, even during dream consciousness the ever present Now was demanding more awareness from me --- the ghostly creaking voices we all heard seemed to be saying to me "give it up, surrender, let go..." and more~. With each wrenching purge I made my offering to the Mystery willingly. "Yes, take it all, all that no longer serves me or anyone else, clean me out ~ what else can I give...?" With the purging and sea sickness came many realizations - most I hold within my self for now and write in my journal ~ observations of shadow work - personal & family pass-me-downs. In many ways I managed to find the reset button in my life and with this, 98% of the post cancer side effects in my feet and legs are gone ~ Wow~! a major barnacle washing~!
~ And NOW - ahhhh, Kaua'i, Hawaii with Toni who I met at the airport the morning after we landed~. She arranged for the MOST incredible jungle hideout with a river in back yard that we kayak to the beach with each day~. Believe me, she is sharing fully in the recovery of this passage as well ~ we are all here - D & L upstairs in a separate apartment - how amazing and perfect it all is ---- the decision to go for the IV at the local hospital was a good one so that I could get on my feet a.s.a.p. and it did not take long ~~~ I'm back and so looking forward to touching Mendonesia soil and resuming our work at Spirit House Center for Attitudinal Healing. What an incredible gift I have received from my sons~. I feel we have all grown to the next level and I'm very curious where that will lead in learning the lessons of life that lead to healing and the presence of inner peace and Love~.
One last thought about children I'll share that came to me in the passage about a 1,000 miles away from Kauai is (in part) from Kahlil Gibran on Children: "You may give them your love but not your thoughts, for they have their own thoughts. You may house their bodies but not their souls, for their souls dwell in the house of tomorrow, which you cannot visit, not even in your dreams. You may strive to be like them, but seek not to make them like you. For life goes not backward nor tarries with yesterday. (And) You are the bows from which your children as living arrows are sent forth. The archer sees the mark upon the path of the infinite, and He bends you with His might that His arrows may go swift and far."
w/Love & Healing, ~Barnacle Ron (aka Faja)
P.S. Note to all my children --- I'm working on a new word "YES"!
~~~~~~~~~~~~It is appropriate that I offer some end of voyage comments of gratitude and appreciation, as well as, apologies for all the worries and concerns many of you were dealing with during this passage of myself and two sons Darshaun and Luke~. Thank you for your prayers and for holding us in the positive healing currents of love and protection~. Our crossing the Pacific Ocean was a slippery sliding adventure across the fluid skin of Mother ocean ~ what an incredible journey for each of us in our own unique way and certainly this will be much more articulated once the skeletal notes in my journal are unpacked~. Darshaun was able to write his perceptions and report via the blog as we traveled - Luke and I journaled by pen~. The voyage stands as a passage, an initiation into a deeper work for each of us ---- Luke at 21 years, Darshaun at 34 and me quickly cruising through 62 ---- four and a half years out of cancer moving into over-time play in the passage through life's learning curriculum into the Mystery of awakening~. Each of us at a different phase of life and truly being absorbed into an initiatory process to help bring us to new understanding~. Certainly, for me aging, healing and consciously deepening my spiritual journey, as well as, strengthening my resolve for walking the path that has been lighted~.
~ For me the voyage was one of incredible joy, even in the midst of nausea and physical challenges. The joy of being with and observing the absolute beauty and innocence of two of my children, as well as, their gift of honoring and including 'ol Dad, or "Faja" as Luke often calls me~made every moment worthwhile. All three of us noted many many times the absence of Justin on this gnarly passage ~~ of course he is still very much in the throes of concluding his own personal rite of passage and initiation work - next time Justy... Also, the realization that we are all in the perfect place albeit perhaps all illusion. Certainly, attendant thoughts of my daughters Taj & Noelle --- seven grandchildren and one great child were woven in both the emotional and at times reflective tapestry of family, community and inner woven circle of friends -- all of us connected as one~.
~ Yep, I was sick as a sea dog for all 30 days of sailing from Shimoda, Japan to Kaua'i, Hawaii but the lessons learned during cancer (practicing dis-identifying with the physical body) prevailed and my spirits were continually high; my inner process seriously connected to the deeper spirit that holds us all~. For me the metaphor of the ocean being the unconscious substrate from which we are mostly driven and the tiny boat upon which we float as what we perceive as reality~was a constant backdrop for our adventure. I was emptied out - literally and fully (I pray) purging and puking (3-P's) daily as I reviewed my entire life under the light of forgiveness~. This voyage with my sons was a serious blessing in many ways and from the standpoint of a parent I'd like to offer a glimpse of the valuable insights I experienced: Being with them for approximately a two month period of time afforded me many observations and reflections about my own life - certainly, seeing myself at 21 (Luke) and 34 (Darshaun) offer several stark contrasts about life's progression of stages, interests, perspectives and perception~. I am still having realizations and insights as I continue to unpack this amazing journey~. One of my insights around perception that I will share is that I realized that as a protective parent I did not always allow or validate their perception about the experiences they were holding and I erred often by correction rather then allowing them to see their own lessons in the light of their perspective~. So, now some of that is coming back to haunt me while at the same time allowing me insight and improvement now~. This is where the practice of forgiveness comes into play as it truly is the key to releasing guilt and finding happiness and freedom in the present~.
~ Another great relief (freedom) I experienced was in the deeper realization that we are all students and teachers for each other~. So much of the attitudinal healing work coming to light. Darshaun's technical skill vastly surpass mine and Luke's strengths and personal qualities offer much for me to learn from~. In the letting go of my roll as a parent and presuming I ALWAYS know what is best, there is freedom to be found in the joining with them as life adventurers and as spirits sharing experiences and exploring i.e. giving and receiving are the same among equals~. So, this is but a piece of the insight I received as I crossed into new waters both on the surface reality and the below the surface, as what has been unconscious in the inner realm has now surfaced~. We neither saw nor heard any Sirens but certainly my ego was dashed upon the rocks along the way. With the constant lurching, banging and thrashing around, change was always present, even during dream consciousness the ever present Now was demanding more awareness from me --- the ghostly creaking voices we all heard seemed to be saying to me "give it up, surrender, let go..." and more~. With each wrenching purge I made my offering to the Mystery willingly. "Yes, take it all, all that no longer serves me or anyone else, clean me out ~ what else can I give...?" With the purging and sea sickness came many realizations - most I hold within my self for now and write in my journal ~ observations of shadow work - personal & family pass-me-downs. In many ways I managed to find the reset button in my life and with this, 98% of the post cancer side effects in my feet and legs are gone ~ Wow~! a major barnacle washing~!
~ And NOW - ahhhh, Kaua'i, Hawaii with Toni who I met at the airport the morning after we landed~. She arranged for the MOST incredible jungle hideout with a river in back yard that we kayak to the beach with each day~. Believe me, she is sharing fully in the recovery of this passage as well ~ we are all here - D & L upstairs in a separate apartment - how amazing and perfect it all is ---- the decision to go for the IV at the local hospital was a good one so that I could get on my feet a.s.a.p. and it did not take long ~~~ I'm back and so looking forward to touching Mendonesia soil and resuming our work at Spirit House Center for Attitudinal Healing. What an incredible gift I have received from my sons~. I feel we have all grown to the next level and I'm very curious where that will lead in learning the lessons of life that lead to healing and the presence of inner peace and Love~.
One last thought about children I'll share that came to me in the passage about a 1,000 miles away from Kauai is (in part) from Kahlil Gibran on Children: "You may give them your love but not your thoughts, for they have their own thoughts. You may house their bodies but not their souls, for their souls dwell in the house of tomorrow, which you cannot visit, not even in your dreams. You may strive to be like them, but seek not to make them like you. For life goes not backward nor tarries with yesterday. (And) You are the bows from which your children as living arrows are sent forth. The archer sees the mark upon the path of the infinite, and He bends you with His might that His arrows may go swift and far."
w/Love & Healing, ~Barnacle Ron (aka Faja)
P.S. Note to all my children --- I'm working on a new word "YES"!
Comments
Beautiful insights. It seems you have traveled to a good place in all senses of the word. May the long time sun warm you always, all love surround you, and the pure light within you guide your way on.
I thought these lyrics might mean something to you:
Little pebble upon the sand
Now you're lying here in my hand,
How many years have you been here ?
Little human upon the sand
>From where I'm lying here in your hand,
You to me are but a passing breeze.
The sun will always shine where you stand
Depending in which land
You may find yourself.
Now you have my blessing, go your way.
Happiness runs in a circular motion
Thought is like a little boat upon the sea.
Everybody is a part of everything anyway,
You can have everything if you let yourself be.
Take care, and hope to see you soon.
Joe
Dave
As you read through the blog you will note the collective prayer for your healing, at that point the seas calmed and the winds stopped. Then we all had to switch and pray for wind. Hope it helped?
With love, Gene